maypole. fuck it.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

I want ALL Maypole magazines SHINee has been in. I really want them. They only cost 2 dollars on E-Bay. But do you know what the problem is? I don't have money. Yes, I'm telling you that I don't have money. Why? Because I bought SHINee albums with my money (but then, I get to buy all their albums. I'm saving up for their Sherlock Album which is probably out in my country now).

But then, I watched a video of their photoshoot for Maypole. I thought it was like a clothing merchandise. But then, I realized that they were a magazine company/agency and I searched for how the magazine looked like and I screamed like HELL.

I wanted all the magazines they were in. ALL OF THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM. Okay, this is just me ranting about how I want to get the magazine so badly. Sorry for the short entry. LOL.

Why did I fall in love with you?

Thursday, April 19, 2012

I'm getting all emotional again. After listening to Girls' Generation's song entitled 'Time Machine', I felt like crying, because throughout the whole song. I was thinking of Taemin. Whenever I look at him (sometimes) I feel hurt but then (sometimes) I feel so happy and care-free. And then, I ask myself 'Why did I fall in love with you?'. This question would always be in my head, bugging me till I find an answer. I mean... why you? Why Taemin? Why not the others? Why not my neighbors? Why not my guy friends? Why did I have to fall deeply in love with you?

I consulted my online friend on Asianfanfics the other day, she told me that it wasn't just fangirl love anymore. She told me that I was truly falling for Taemin. It may sound stupid but, I wasn't convinced yet. I kept on telling myself that I loved Taemin because he's my idol or something like that. No more, no less. I didn't want myself to fall in love with an idol. Why? Because I know I would get hurt at the end.

But then deep down inside, I know that I really have fallen in love with Taemin and it isn't just fangirl love anymore and I didn't want that. I didn't want to get hurt, I didn't want to have my heart crushed. Yes, I'm confessing that Taemin is my first love in my whole entire life and I think I can't love another person like how I loved him. The sad thing is, he doesn't even know me. He practically doesn't even know I exist. If I die, my last wish is to make Taemin aware of my existence. Even if he doesn't see me or know me that much, as long as he knows my name... I can live with that and I could actually die peacefully with a smile on my face.

Is it stupid? It's pathetic. THIS is pathetic. Me getting emotional just because I did fall in love with Taemin. Stupid heart.

and then, there's Onew

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

What can I say about this guy? Hmm. Well, in my perspective... he's this evil, clumsy little leader that has this innocent and cute face that could make girls fall for him. With just one smile, he could spread 'Onew Sangtae' everywhere. I literally tripped myself while watching him dance in their Juliette Japanese Version MV, the part where he smiles cutely on the camera.

To tell you the truth, I've never had a crush (even a small crush) on Onew. When I first liked SHINee (well, I first saw them in their Lucifer MV and I told my cousin that they looked like old people, I didn't like SHINee that time) was when I watched 'Hello Baby', and that's where I kind of liked Minho.

Then, I suddenly liked Jonghyun because of their song 'Love's Way'. Why? Because I fell in love with his voice, not only that but I also fell in love with him while I was watching 'Hello Baby', he was really funny and looked really cute when he was trying hard to make Yoogeun love him (well, Yoogeun does but not that much, compared to Minho. LOL.), and the part where he kissed Yoogeun, hehe.

I also liked Taemin after, it happened where I first watched him do this performance where he was wearing a white suit and he was playing the piano. He looked really handsome and manly when I watched him and I didn't realize I had hearts in my eyes (not literally) and I just suddenly liked him (well, now I love him).

And then when I watched Key singing with Krystal, I fell in love with him because of his voice, charisma and power (?) while dancing and singing the song. See? I didn't have one scenario with Onew! But then, this morning, something happened.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH ONEW.

How? A FANFIC. There's this famous author (_iwritecrap) in AFF and she has this one-shot entitled 'She remembers' featuring Onew and You. And after I read the one-shot like 2-3 times, I suddenly fell in love with Onew. It's like I suddenly felt the love Onew gave to the fictional character on the fanfic. Is it possible? OMONA! I'm ~~married~~ to five guys who doesn't even know I exist (as much as I don't want to accept it, it's true), ottokhae?

i love key and taemin at the same time

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

김 기 붐 ♥ 이 태 민

Who shall I freaking choose? I really, really love Taemin and my heart beats UBER fast when I see his face, when I see him dance, when I see him act, when I listen to him sing. It's like I get lost in my own little world with only him on my mind, but then... there's Key. I don't love him like I love Taemin but still there's this tug on my hear whenever I see him, it's like the feeling of seeing Taemin playing the piano but the only difference is that, it's not Taemin. What should I do?

I don't have reasons on why I love Taemin and Key, it just happened. My mom told me that when you don't know the reason why you love a person it's true love (and I hope it is). But then, why the TWO of them? Is my heart telling me that I have to pick one person out of the two of them? But I love Taemin! I also love Key. Aigoo! This is so hard, it's like picking one guy from the two guys who confessed their undying love for you. LOL.

It's unreasonable (and quite irrational) for me to ask you which person I should choose because I know that it's up to me, but it's really hard. One time, I asked my schoolmates to choose between Taemin and Jaejoong and whoever wins would be the guy in my heart. Taemin won but my best friend told me that I fangirl quite differently when I talk about Jaejoong, she told me that I get all red and she told me that she could see hearts in my eyes whenever I talk about Jaejoong but when I talk about Taemin, she told me it's like talking about another boy and blah, blah, blah. Well, it's quite reasonable since I just started loving Taemin last year (on 05.14), when I watched him on YouTube playing 'The River Flows In You' by Yiruma.

Anyways, I think I fell in love with Key when I saw him sing and dance on his Japan and New York concert. You know, the song 'My First Kiss' by 3OH!3 feat. Ke$ha. Aigoo! Ottokhae?

people are using taemin against me

Okay, so today... kids I'll be showing you why you shouldn't tell the ~~love of your life's~~ crush's name to other people. Especially, if it's your relatives or close family members. I swear you'll regret it once you tell them your crush's name, they would use it AGAINST you! Okay, I won't tell who are the people that used Taemin (the love of my life, the person who gives me a reason to live, the person who makes me breathe, the person who completes my day, the person that makes my heart beat fast, the person that makes me love the things I hate before and most definitely, the person that made me smile everyday) against me.

Sorry I got a ~~little~~ carried way over there. So anyways, if I tell you the people *coughEVILCOUSINS&MOMcough* that used Taemin against me, them maybe I would right a blog about how I despise (not really) them instead of the REAL reason why I'm writing this blog. Going back, you SHOULDN'T tell them who the love of your life is. Why? Because when I told them about Taemin and I being happily 'married', they started to ask me who this Taemin boy was (well, except for one cousin of mine since she's a Taemint as well) and I started to explain this 'Taemin boy' to them and how he changed my life.

And one day, I was reading fanfics and my mom told me to get something for her. I screamed a "NO!" since I was too tired to get it and I was getting into the story of the fanfic, but then something kind of made me get the thing she asked me to get. Did you know what she said? This, "If you don't get it, then Taemin won't marry you." And because of that, I suddenly stood up and got the thing she asked for. And starting that day, a lot of my relatives would use him against me, but not all my relatives by the way.

And I was really relieved that I didn't tell them how I really don't support TaeLi (sorry TaeLi fans), because if I did, the would tell me that if I don't follow them or something Taemin would leave me for Sulli. LOL.

And so, I hope you learned your lesson here. LESSON DISMISSED.

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